Sorry about the delay on this blog (I claimed it was going to be posted on Saturday). I wrote about half of it on friday night and just finished it not too long ago. Let me first clarify how unqualified and how ridiculous it is for me to write a blog about husbands and wives. First off, I am not a husband nor am I anywhere close to meeting the criteria of what it means to be a husband. In other words, I’m single . Second, I haven’t even had a girlfriend since the 9th grade which was two years before my salvation. I have no experience being romantically involved with a godly woman ever and therefore do not have any first hand experience in the matter.
So why am I going to write this blog anyway? Well the main reason is because God’s word happens to give objective information on what it is to be a godly husband or wife that is independent of any first hand experience I could have. Therefore, it matters very little that I am lacking experience. Being encouraged by the things God’s word has been teaching me on the matter of husbands and wives over the course of a month or two, I thought I would share with my audience. I realize this is a vast subject and I intend only to lightly break the surface.
Anxiety about my future is often high and one of the things I find myself being most anxious about is marriage. Every time I find myself being anxious I try to stop and pray about the matter right there and then. I have written a note on facebook that is actually more clear on my anxieties so I won’t go into it here but you can check it out if you haven’t already. Because I found myself being so concerned with marriage, I thought it most prudent to find out what scripture has to say on the matter. I found passages concerning the origin of marriage, God’s purpose for it, and what a godly marriage looks like from both the perspective of a husband and a wife.
God ordained the institution of marriage back in Genesis as you most likely know with the ever so familiar “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” God, throughout scripture, uses marriage as an illustration of His covenant with His people. You can see this best in the Old Testament in Hosea 2:14-23 where God says of Israel, “I will betroth you to Me in faithfulness, And you shall know the Lord” and best in the New Testament in Ephesians 5:22-32 where you see a husband’s likeness to Christ and a wife’s likeness to the church. This is a beautiful “mystery” as it is called in the New Testament. It is obvious if I am to understand anything about the positions of a man and wife I am first to understand their bond to each other and the purpose of that bond. This picture that is displayed by God towards man shows us that the husband is to be the head, give himself for his wife, and love his wife as his own body. The wife is to be a submissive helper and encourager. These are tall orders and are big shoes to fill. When I read “give himself for his wife” I was hit hard by the level of love this described. The calling I have as a husband to the woman I would marry is to love her with such a love as Christ had for the church. I must love her sacrificially, selflessly, and wholly. That in my book is a very tall order that must be taken seriously. On the other hand, you have a wife who is to be “submissive” not because she is in anyway a lesser person or because he is better. She is to be submissive because the Lord has commanded that this is His will for the wife to willingly and obediently submit to the husband. Her submission is to be “as to the Lord” because the husband is the head as Christ is the head. Yet another tall order that must be taken equally serious to those who seek to be wives. The complimentary system that is set up here is absolutely beautiful when working correctly. The husband and the wife are as one as Christ is with the church and they love each other and serve each other and its all so fantastically awesome! So now that I have scratched the small surface on marriage and the duties of wife and husband what does this mean practically to someone single like me?
That has been the hard part about all of this. In order to get to the place before marriage, you must be have the balls to ask a girl out (I'm lacking sometimes) and be dating her for awhile. Let be honest, these days there aren't many parent arranged marriages so dating SEEMS the avenue to take. However, there is no place in the Bible that says anything about dating. Nowhere does it give me the specifics I long to have. Rather I have been in thanksgiving and have been content in what the Lord has shown. Because it is not specifically written, “You shall go and take her out for coffee on the first date and to a movie on the second date” or “You shall always offer to pay and adorn her with many gifts” or “You shall propose after two years and once you have solidified a job for yourself.,” I am made to be completely and utterly reliant on the Lord by way of prayer. I am thankful as all the prayer that has been surrounding this issue has drawn me closer to Christ and given me a greater understanding of His will for me in this area. For now I am learning to be more like this man called “husband.” Jesus is teaching me to serve the church sacrificially and wholly with great love. Jesus is preparing me to lead by first cleansing me by the washing of the word. Jesus is showing me the greatness of the love He has for me, that I may one day mirror it to that of the love for my wife. It’s a complicated situation and I’m ok with that for now. I don’t know how it will happen or even if it will ever happen. I do know one thing though. I know that His grace is sufficient for me and though I do not understand the road in front of me I will follow the light. Ok…so that’s two things that I know.
Though most of you who read this are single I would like any kind of feedback if you are in a relationship or married. *Cough* Ben please say something helpful for me please *Cough*.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Friday, June 8, 2007
The Heart of The Matter
Welcome back my readers and I hope you have all been well (the few of you who actually know about this). I have not had much time to put my thoughts down on paper until today so I decided that I would write two blogs back to back. I’m in my apartment on a Friday night trying to relax in between my tests. I figured writing some encouraging words is a better use of my time than flipping on the television and watching the repetitive coverage of Paris Hilton’s jail sentence. This first blog is about evangelism and the condition of the human heart while the other focuses on what God has been teaching me about what to look for in a wife and how I need to prepare in order to be a godly husband (pending that a wife is what God actually has for me of course). The second blog will most likely come tomorrow.
Monday of this week I happened to run into an old friend of mine from junior high/ high school. I had not seen him in a really long time and last I heard he was pretty much doing what I know I would be doing if not for the grace of God: drinking to the point of utter ridiculousness and rebelling against God in every and any way possible. Not that the two actions I’ve listed are actually separate but rather one is specific and one is general. Anyhow, I was just walking down the concourse on the way back to my apartment for some lunch when this old friend, who shall henceforth be referred to as Bob, rides up on his bike and starts talking to me. It was sort of awkward at first, but I realized this was a great opportunity to preach Christ and Him crucified. So often I miss the opportunity and the importance of sharing the gospel with the lost because I so often forget that our God is not a God that simply SHOULD be worshipped. Our God MUST be worshipped and all those who withhold His glory from Him and do not bow down in utter awe of Him will one day perish. With this in mind, I decided to offer Bob lunch at Chick-fil-a since neither of us had class for another hour or so. So there we were in Chick-fil-a when I ask the ever so dangerously generic question, “So are you going to church anywhere here in Auburn?” At this point he throws up his hands and says, “Whoa, whoa, whoa….Don’t go there man. Just don’t go there. I am so sick and tired of people preaching to me!” Rather than summarize the conversation I would like to actually introduce some quotes that actually came from his mouth. I wrote them down shortly after our meeting and they are accurate to the best of my knowledge.
1. “I am going to do what is in MY best interest and what serves ME best.”
2. “Why would you want to know my spiritual health?”
3. “The problem I have with the church is all the corruption and hypocrisy.”
4. “Christianity throughout its entire history has been morphing itself in order to get heathens into it so they can get their money and their loyalty.”
5. “Denominations are so messed up they can’t even agree on what it takes for a person to be saved”
6. “The [Bible] was written by man, if it opened up and words appeared on it then I would believe it.”
I provide these quotes so that you can not only see the presuppositions he has about Christianity but more importantly so that you can see the state of his heart. As with most lost people, it was incredibly hard to keep the conversation centered upon who Jesus is, what He did, and what that means for everyone. I tried to lightly address those things he brought up in those quotes as best I could ,but I found it very difficult to talk with him specifically about the work of Christ and that he must repent and believe on Jesus. He wanted to talk about all the peripheral arguments rather than the crux of the matter. Not to mention he was throwing down the f-bomb every other sentence and being incredibly hostile. The conversation that followed with Bob left me in a saddened state. I was utterly broken by the rebellion within this man’s heart and reminded just how hostile the unbeliever is towards God. I was reminded that not only this man but also every other person who is not in Christ is utterly and totally against Him regardless of how hostile they appear on the outside.
It made me think of myself when I was lost and how badly I needed Jesus. Titus 3:3 says, “For we ourselves were also once foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving various lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful and hating one another.” It reminded me of the condition of my heart before God’s initiative. Romans 2:5 says, “But in accordance with your hardness and your impenitent heart you are treasuring up for yourself wrath in the day of wrath and revelation of the righteous judgment of God.” What grace we have received. My heart. Your heart. Our lives were in total rebellion to God. We were storing up righteous wrath and we were LOVING IT! Thanks be to God Who according to the pleasure of His will gave us sinners LIFE! He blesses us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, forgives us our sins, sanctifies us by His words, and best of all gives us the knowledge of His will and character!
Bob would leave me that day in the same state we met. God used this circumstance in my life to pain my soul for the lost around me and to remind me of the grace I have and continue receive. I pray that we all would see the lost in a new light and be reminded of our former likeness to them. I pray that we would go forth boldly with faith as we seek to be messengers of this good news. I pray that we would not JUST be saddened by those who hear and do not believe but rather that we would be driven to our knees to plead on behalf of their souls. I pray these things because I am weak and because Christ is strong. Please join me in the prayer that the eyes of the nations would be opened as to see this God and worship Him for all that He is and all that He does. Amen.
Monday of this week I happened to run into an old friend of mine from junior high/ high school. I had not seen him in a really long time and last I heard he was pretty much doing what I know I would be doing if not for the grace of God: drinking to the point of utter ridiculousness and rebelling against God in every and any way possible. Not that the two actions I’ve listed are actually separate but rather one is specific and one is general. Anyhow, I was just walking down the concourse on the way back to my apartment for some lunch when this old friend, who shall henceforth be referred to as Bob, rides up on his bike and starts talking to me. It was sort of awkward at first, but I realized this was a great opportunity to preach Christ and Him crucified. So often I miss the opportunity and the importance of sharing the gospel with the lost because I so often forget that our God is not a God that simply SHOULD be worshipped. Our God MUST be worshipped and all those who withhold His glory from Him and do not bow down in utter awe of Him will one day perish. With this in mind, I decided to offer Bob lunch at Chick-fil-a since neither of us had class for another hour or so. So there we were in Chick-fil-a when I ask the ever so dangerously generic question, “So are you going to church anywhere here in Auburn?” At this point he throws up his hands and says, “Whoa, whoa, whoa….Don’t go there man. Just don’t go there. I am so sick and tired of people preaching to me!” Rather than summarize the conversation I would like to actually introduce some quotes that actually came from his mouth. I wrote them down shortly after our meeting and they are accurate to the best of my knowledge.
1. “I am going to do what is in MY best interest and what serves ME best.”
2. “Why would you want to know my spiritual health?”
3. “The problem I have with the church is all the corruption and hypocrisy.”
4. “Christianity throughout its entire history has been morphing itself in order to get heathens into it so they can get their money and their loyalty.”
5. “Denominations are so messed up they can’t even agree on what it takes for a person to be saved”
6. “The [Bible] was written by man, if it opened up and words appeared on it then I would believe it.”
I provide these quotes so that you can not only see the presuppositions he has about Christianity but more importantly so that you can see the state of his heart. As with most lost people, it was incredibly hard to keep the conversation centered upon who Jesus is, what He did, and what that means for everyone. I tried to lightly address those things he brought up in those quotes as best I could ,but I found it very difficult to talk with him specifically about the work of Christ and that he must repent and believe on Jesus. He wanted to talk about all the peripheral arguments rather than the crux of the matter. Not to mention he was throwing down the f-bomb every other sentence and being incredibly hostile. The conversation that followed with Bob left me in a saddened state. I was utterly broken by the rebellion within this man’s heart and reminded just how hostile the unbeliever is towards God. I was reminded that not only this man but also every other person who is not in Christ is utterly and totally against Him regardless of how hostile they appear on the outside.
It made me think of myself when I was lost and how badly I needed Jesus. Titus 3:3 says, “For we ourselves were also once foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving various lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful and hating one another.” It reminded me of the condition of my heart before God’s initiative. Romans 2:5 says, “But in accordance with your hardness and your impenitent heart you are treasuring up for yourself wrath in the day of wrath and revelation of the righteous judgment of God.” What grace we have received. My heart. Your heart. Our lives were in total rebellion to God. We were storing up righteous wrath and we were LOVING IT! Thanks be to God Who according to the pleasure of His will gave us sinners LIFE! He blesses us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, forgives us our sins, sanctifies us by His words, and best of all gives us the knowledge of His will and character!
Bob would leave me that day in the same state we met. God used this circumstance in my life to pain my soul for the lost around me and to remind me of the grace I have and continue receive. I pray that we all would see the lost in a new light and be reminded of our former likeness to them. I pray that we would go forth boldly with faith as we seek to be messengers of this good news. I pray that we would not JUST be saddened by those who hear and do not believe but rather that we would be driven to our knees to plead on behalf of their souls. I pray these things because I am weak and because Christ is strong. Please join me in the prayer that the eyes of the nations would be opened as to see this God and worship Him for all that He is and all that He does. Amen.
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