The Glorious Christ and My Secret Sin

Many things have happened since I last decided to put my thoughts out for everyone to see. I’ve applied to vet school, I’ve been called to missions (that’s a whole other blog on the way), and I’ve been fighting the urge to sleep on my free time. Despite being so “busy,” God has made this semester in my life so full. My life is so full of His grace. Praise Jesus. Yet, I am astounded. I am astounded by the sin still lingering in my flesh. Though I am a blood-bought son of God, I struggle so immensely with sin. I want to talk about a sin that is very uncomfortable to talk about. In fact, so uncomfortable I delayed writing this. I want to talk about lust.

I’m going to lay down a warning. I’m not going to sugar coat as I write this. This blog will be very blunt and straightforward so if you think you may not be able to handle it please stop reading. I want people who read this to be encouraged. I’m going to assume that this is much heavier issue for men than for woman but if you are a woman and still are interested in reading I encourage you to do so and I hope that you learn something useful.

Here is some background on my experience with this sin. I was addicted to pornography before I became a believer. I was sucked in night after night. If I wanted a picture of what a slave of sin looked like all I had to do was turn to the mirror. I was utterly swallowed up in it. My heart was beyond black and cold. Then I was redeemed by Christ and He brought repentance to my heart. The repentance of my heart had a difficult time being applied practically over my whole life however. I would live my life for a week or two free of pornography and let my guard down only to fall into a hole. Thankfully that hole was always filled with God’s grace and His encouraging words. I pressed on and continued to ask the Lord to sanctify this part of my life and I begged. I still beg. Is there spiritual progress that is going on in this area? Absolutely. Is this battle over? Absolutely not. The computer is not really a factor any more although I’ve learned that it never really was in the first place. The lust was always within my heart and my flesh. My computer just helped to exploit what was already there hiding beneath. Read Mark 7:20-23 for a biblical description of this idea. I (and I’m going to assume) many other Christians (men in particular) have just been bombarded with the deceitful lusts and half-a-second pleasures of this world. Though we fight with the whole armor of God this spiritual warfare, we must always, always, always remember that Christ already attained victory over sin and death on the cross!!! If you struggle please hear this. I need to hear it again and again. If you are born-again of the Spirit of God, you have victory IN CHRIST! Man is that encouraging. What a sweet truth. If this truth is so sweet then why do we hide and act like this sin does not exist in the church today or pretend it is far off in some other corrupt church?

Why do I tell you all this about me? Do I feel better letting everyone know that this is what I struggle with or this is what goes on in my thought life? Is this about guilt? Not even close. I have no guilt because I am no longer guilty. I can only tell anyone the facts above for one reason; because I believe Jesus Christ is absolutely 100% of my righteousness in the eyes of my God. I can only confess that I am that sinful person I described above because I truly believe in the righteousness that Christ provided for me through his death on the cross. If not for my boast in the Lord, I would hide this until my dieing day. I CAN only tell you about this because of what Jesus did but I only want to tell you BECAUSE I want you to be encouraged and I don’t want you to hide in your struggles. If you struggle with this sin know that you are not alone. Do not hide. That’s exactly what Satan wants. He wants us to struggle with our sin alone and in shame. He falsely accuses us of eternal security in Christ and tries to tell us, “If you loved Jesus, you wouldn’t do that.” You know what. Satan is right. I may not love Jesus all the time. I may not always savor and exalt Him above sex and pleasure of this world. However, Satan, Jesus SAVED me and LOVES me always. Saved is in the past tense because of the act performed on the cross 2000 years ago and love in the present tense because He continues to intercede on my behalf even as I type these words. And His loves holds o so strongly to me and will carry me to the end. I hope you would take hope in that too.

So bring your sin to light and don’t hide. Not because you’re guilty but because you are blameless. May we always boast in our Lord Jesus. Amen.


Just in case you are wondering, I am not saying or encouraging anyone to continue in this sin but rather I would beg you to repent for the sake of personal holiness and because your sin defiles the name of Christ whom you now bear also. Repentance is always present in the life of a believer and to rejoice in those truthes previously stated and to not repent is to spit upon the cross (see Romans 6:1-4). Hope that this was clear and encouraging. God bless guys. Be back soon for my blog on missions!